I think I have a future in writing Sunday School Skits. I think I’ll call my publishing company “Skits Afrenia”.
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MOSES: Hello kids!!
KIDS: Grandpa Moses! Grandpa Moses! It’s been so long since we’ve seen you!
KID1: Ooooo – your face is glowing! Can I touch it?
KID2: Better not. You might die!!
KID3: Grandpa! Did God tell you how He made the universe?
MOSES: He sure did! Gather round, kiddos, and I’ll tell you what God told me!
KIDS: AWESOME!!
KID3: Cool! I’ve always wanted to know!
KID2: Me too!!
KID4: Me three!!!
MOSES: In six days, God created the heavens and the earth and all that’s in them!!
KIDS: AWESOME!!
KID4: Wow!! Really??
MOSES: Nope!
KIDS: Huh?
MOSES: He didn’t do it that way. Actually, He took many thousands and thousand and thousands of years to make the heavens and the earth and all that’s in them.
KID1: Grandpa – but I thought you said He did it in six days??
MOSES: No – I said that’s what He *told* me. I didn’t say that’s how He *did* it!
KID5: I’m confused!
KID6: Why did He lie to you?
MOSES: No, no, no! He didn’t lie .. He just used Babylonian creation narratives.
KID4: What’s a Babylonian?
KID3: They’re people that live far, far away and talk funny. You’ll never see them.
KID2: Then why tell us Babylonian stuff if we’re never going to see them?
MOSES: Did I say ‘Babylonian’? Oh, my bad! I meant Egyptian. He used Egyptian creation narratives.
KID1: Egyptian!?
KID5: But He destroyed all the Egyptians a couple months ago. Why tell us their stories?
KID3: Yeah – Why Egyptian stories??
MOSES: I didn’t say He’s telling their stories. I said He’s using their creation narrat… Look – the point isn’t HOW He created everything, it’s THAT He created everything. We’re supposed to listen and say “Wow! God is powerful!”
KID2: I don’t understand, Grandpa. I thought He said He made it in 6 days! Why didn’t He tell us the truth!!!
KID4: But I would think He’s powerful if He created everything in thousands of thousands of thousands of years. If it’s true, why didn’t He just say that?
KID1: Yeah? Why didn’t He just say He did it in thousands and thousands of years?
MOSES: You kids are missing the point! He said.. aw, heck!! Isn’t it your naptime yet??
KID3: Naptime? Why? We just got here!
KID1: Why? I’m not sleepy…
KID4: Why didn’t He just tell the truth, Grandpa?? Why?
MOSES: Allright!!! Quit with the ‘why-ning!’ You kids are gettin’ on my nerves!! I think I hear your moms calling you. And besides, I’m hungry! I haven’t eaten in 40 days!! Go home! All of you!!
KID6: Waaah! I don’t wanna take a nap!
KID5: I don’t want to go home!!
KID2: Me too!
KID3: Me three!!
MOSES: Out!!! NOW!!
ZIPPORAH: You’re a bridegroom of myths to me!!
For further reading, check out https://creation.com/is-the-raqiya-firmament-a-solid-dome
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